Edwin and I are music students in a music conservatory. We were waiting for our critics regarding our compositions. My turn was up next. And this was my first time where my composition is being judged by a professor. Before this, the only people who criticised me would be people in Youtube. Whose critics will be "Nice song :)" or "I think it sounds a bit weird" or more.
"I won't be surprised if you cry after this" Edwin whispered, "He's a tough one"
I swallowed a gulp of saliva as my heartbeat increased out of the sudden, after Edwin told me that. Ridiculous thoughts were running in my mind. From the professor banging his table, throwing my scores in the air, shouting so loudly that the music hall will be filled with anger, punching me, shouting right in front of my face, and more. It's... Plain ridiculous I thought.
The professor then looked at me and signalled me to approach him. Time for doom I suppose. I braved myself up and walked towards him. With my heart racing like a bar of crescendo and 100 bars of accelerandos. I stood in front of him, and he asked me:
"Good news first? Or bad news first?"
"Bad news" I replied, at least the good news will make me feel good.
The professor put down his glasses and gave his back a stretch. He stared at me right into my eyes and folded his hands. Then he sat back up straight, cupping his fingers.
"Honestly speaking, your composition lacks of depths. There's no creativity, it's boring, plain, monotonous, and horrible. You have no sense of maturity in your composition. Anyone can compose a song like that! It's just too plain boring. Put it this way, your composition is so horrible, no orchestra should play it."
He stopped for a while, and then continued
"The good news is, that's all for your bad news"
I was feeling horrible. Never in my life had anyone criticised me in such brutal manner. I felt really horrible. I wanted to break down and cry and just said thank you and walked off. But I pulled myself together. There's something wrong with the way the professor criticised my composition. There's something I have to say to the professor.
"Dear professor, I would like to ask you a few questions. In which manner does my composition lack of depth? How can I improve my compositions so that it will not be boring? How can I improve my creativity? In what way is my composition horrible?" I asked
"There's nothing I can answer to those questions. I'm a professor, I know that your composition is not good enough. In fact, there's no need for answering those questions. Trust me, your composition is just too...."
And I cut the professor, rising my tone a little bit.
"Dear professor, I will not leave this hall until you give me an answer to every question I asked to you just now. I will not. How do you think all these musicians in this school can make great music if this is the way you criticise our compositions?! Yes I know that my song is horrible, but in what freaking way?"
I caught a breath.
"It is as if you're a mathematician who formulates an equation without having the elaboration to work it out. You are not solving the problem at all! I repeat. I WILL NOT leave the concert hall until you give me the answers to my questions"
Edwin walked towards me and put his hands on my shoulder, calming me down. I whispered to him saying that I'm not angry or anything of that sort. I just need an answer.
The professor looked at me, with his mouth opened in a gap. He then asked me
"Adhi, how about, we get a cup of coffee instead?"
Felt so good after writing an essay once more! :)
It is as if you're a mathematician who formulates and equation without having the elaboration to work it out. You are not solving the problem at all
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