Reality

I guess I watched too much TV, read too many story books, read too many magazines, and dream too much. My personal thought about the word "holiday" or "vacation" will be nothing else but a holiday. Nothing else but having the best time in the world.

I would do what I want to do, perhaps going for a road-trip, or maybe travelling to places I want to go. I would do things that I have not been able to do due to school, like chilling out, reading my story books, watching movies, television shows, exercise and more. Perhaps learning something new. I would do the things I enjoy doing, which time had restricted me during school. Write a story, play the piano, practise my clarinet and more.

Am I doing all these? Well not all, or perhaps, really little.

I guess reality is not in front of my eyes. I have been dreaming of all of these things I wish I could do during my holidays, and of course I'm not doing it. Sometimes it's ironic how I actually become depressed, sometimes, during my holiday. As weird as that may have sounded, yes I felt that at times.

I'm not depressed about my work, or about my projects, or my upcoming school semester. I'm depressed about life. I know that may be really over-the-top but seriously, yes I am pretty much depressed about reality.

In movies I watched, holidays are meant for youths like us to enjoy. In books I've read, people go to different places during a holiday. In magazines, I drooled upon seeing those exotic destinations for a holiday. Those enchanting places.

I guess that's not reality. Right?

Well the fact that I'm going back to my hometown during my holidays sort of pleases me. Of course, I miss my hometown, and most importantly, my family. The warmth of my house, I mean really my house, can never be beaten anywhere else, except in your own home.

So I guess, THIS is my holiday.

But as much as it is a holiday, of course we have to fill it with things right? So well I guess, my holiday is not really filled with the things I wanna do. But well. A holiday is still a holiday.

So there goes my wish, every night. I wish that my vacation here will always be a good and enjoyable one, and not a depressing one instead. I really wish that this wish will, and will continue to come true.

I may be a selfish dreamer.