I guess there are different stages in life when we come to a realisation of the word - age. Most of the times we tend to forget it. Or we don't realise it. Just now comes to a realisation about this word.
I guess one is when we realise we're children no more. In a way we realise we're not interested in cartoons, toys and playing outside in the playground or something like that. When we got caught up with life and work. With studies, with something we used to find boring but then at the end of the day it interests us. The fact that we tell ourselves when we're no longer a child. Or when we find someone else "acting like a child". But of course, truly, the child in us never leaves. In a way it just stays on the inside partly but then it disappears on the outside. That's when we realised we've grown up.
Perhaps next when you realised you're in your graduation gown. And you're preparing to take that certificate on the stage and maybe hopefully giving out that speech that you wish can inspire everyone. You take photo with your friends and lecturers. And then you realised how far you've come to get this.
Then the next would be when you realise you're an uncle or aunty. When in one way or another a member of your relative has given birth to a child who would call you an aunty or uncle. Or when you realise that one of your relative is getting married. Your friend is getting married. Then having a child. And you realised you're no longer that small you who calls people uncles and aunty. Now you're being called one.
Then comes the first day of your work. The day where you're dressed nicely, your heart beating fast and you look forward to starting the next phase of your life. To start living as an adult, earning some hard cash and perhaps enjoying it. You know the journey will be a tough one but yet you want to do it and you're determined and hopeful to get a good outcome. And your parents wish the best for you.
Parents? Well yes. Next you realised that your parents are growing old. You realise the white hairs growing on their head. They way they speak. Their facial features change and they're no longer the same old parents who will come and talk to you like a small boy. They start to be a bit grumpy. Perhaps repeating some things they've once said again and again. First you don't understand. Then you've realised you've come to this stage. You know you're growing old too.
Being the youngest of 4 and 20 this year. I'm now starting to experience the above paragraph. I haven't finished my education, let alone, working. I'm coming to this stage.
Age, is such a funny thing
Friday, March 9, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Why do we live
A question pops into my head today. Well not really just today but a few times before. I've thought of some answer, I've been thinking about it again and again but well at times, I just can't come into a final conclusion, into that ultimate answer which I thought I have. Well, apparently not. But anyway, here it is.
Why do we live for? What do we live for?
If lets say here you are, given a chance to kill yourself. To commit suicide. Slit your wrist and let you bleed to death. Or a rope in front of you and you can just hang yourself, suffocating you to death. Maybe 100 pills of some drugs and you can just gulp it down with a jug of water. Sounds very scary isn't it. Well it's just a question, I'm asking IF you were given a chance to kill yourself. And you tell yourself no, I'm not going to die now. I'm not going to end my life now. Then ask yourself the question - Why?
If I'm in that place, my answer is simple.
I just feel that I still have a long way to go, and that my life is still moving. My story is still being written, my journey is still on going. If I were to die now, I have wasted my life, I will miss all the good things that may come for me, to me, just that I have not realised it. And of course, I have not seen them. Secondly, I'm grateful that I'm given a life, that I still have a life to live for. While others are dying because of a disease, dying in a war, dying because they -choose not to, but cause of another circumstance- why then, should I stop my life if I'm still given the chance to live a life?
We only have one life, so live it to the fullest. I believe I guess it's just part of the human conscience that we, keep on living. That everyday we just live normally, that we don't suddenly have the thought of ending our life tomorrow or something like that. It's just within us that we continue with what we're doing - to live a life and to simply carry on with the flow of time.
Then you ask, and I ask too, why would people commit suicide?
I guess people commit suicide because well, they're lost in life. People usually (or they do) commit suicide due to some huge problems they're facing. Economical problems, like how they don't have enough money to support their family. Psychological problems, like stress at work, or love problems (this is quite... Absurd actually, in my opinion) or being bullied (this needs to stop). With all these huge scale problems, they feel they have lost their directions in life. Especially when the pressure builds up so much.
When people are faced with problems, they tend to feel the only way out is an "instant end" to everything, that is to die. No more pain, no more stress, no more suffering. At times I do feel the same way too. Like I wish I can "end" my life for a while, and well we only have one life. There's no such thing as not living for a while. But these people, they're so psychologically, emotionally, physically stressed, that their conditions basically "blind" them from the hopes and solutions they have in life.
Remember how much we tend to act irrationally when we're angry or sad - that's because we are so angry and sad that we just feel everything is wrong. People say don't make promises when you're happy - cause when we're happy we tend to forget the negative side that the situation may have. Nothing is perfect in this world, we're happy, doesn't mean we can be happy forever. But also remember, when we're sad, doesn't mean we'll be sad forever! :)
So people who are really in dire situations, need guidance and support from other people. But because of their situations and conditions, sometimes they feel helpless that they feel they can handle the situations by themselves, when actually they can't and never will. I'm a cancer and yes, I gotta admit that I love to keep things to myself all the time. But when it's so unbearable I will just let it out to people. Real good friends, family, siblings, teachers and so on. That's cause I know they might give me the solutions
But people who are in dire suicidal conditions feel that there's no more solution to their problems because these problems are so heavy that they don't see the hope to solve it anymore. Which is pretty sad, because I think most of these people tend to just keep this to themselves. Which is why they ended up carrying on with the suicide :(
So people, next time you're facing lots of problems and you feel there's no way out, I just want to tell you that there is. In life nothing is impossible except for waking the dead and playing with time. And the next time you feel like as if your life is horrible and so on.
Remember that at least you still have a life to be lived for. When there are many others out there in the world, fighting and struggling to live.
And always be grateful, and live life to the fullest! :)
Why do we live for? What do we live for?
If lets say here you are, given a chance to kill yourself. To commit suicide. Slit your wrist and let you bleed to death. Or a rope in front of you and you can just hang yourself, suffocating you to death. Maybe 100 pills of some drugs and you can just gulp it down with a jug of water. Sounds very scary isn't it. Well it's just a question, I'm asking IF you were given a chance to kill yourself. And you tell yourself no, I'm not going to die now. I'm not going to end my life now. Then ask yourself the question - Why?
If I'm in that place, my answer is simple.
I just feel that I still have a long way to go, and that my life is still moving. My story is still being written, my journey is still on going. If I were to die now, I have wasted my life, I will miss all the good things that may come for me, to me, just that I have not realised it. And of course, I have not seen them. Secondly, I'm grateful that I'm given a life, that I still have a life to live for. While others are dying because of a disease, dying in a war, dying because they -choose not to, but cause of another circumstance- why then, should I stop my life if I'm still given the chance to live a life?
We only have one life, so live it to the fullest. I believe I guess it's just part of the human conscience that we, keep on living. That everyday we just live normally, that we don't suddenly have the thought of ending our life tomorrow or something like that. It's just within us that we continue with what we're doing - to live a life and to simply carry on with the flow of time.
Then you ask, and I ask too, why would people commit suicide?
I guess people commit suicide because well, they're lost in life. People usually (or they do) commit suicide due to some huge problems they're facing. Economical problems, like how they don't have enough money to support their family. Psychological problems, like stress at work, or love problems (this is quite... Absurd actually, in my opinion) or being bullied (this needs to stop). With all these huge scale problems, they feel they have lost their directions in life. Especially when the pressure builds up so much.
When people are faced with problems, they tend to feel the only way out is an "instant end" to everything, that is to die. No more pain, no more stress, no more suffering. At times I do feel the same way too. Like I wish I can "end" my life for a while, and well we only have one life. There's no such thing as not living for a while. But these people, they're so psychologically, emotionally, physically stressed, that their conditions basically "blind" them from the hopes and solutions they have in life.
Remember how much we tend to act irrationally when we're angry or sad - that's because we are so angry and sad that we just feel everything is wrong. People say don't make promises when you're happy - cause when we're happy we tend to forget the negative side that the situation may have. Nothing is perfect in this world, we're happy, doesn't mean we can be happy forever. But also remember, when we're sad, doesn't mean we'll be sad forever! :)
So people who are really in dire situations, need guidance and support from other people. But because of their situations and conditions, sometimes they feel helpless that they feel they can handle the situations by themselves, when actually they can't and never will. I'm a cancer and yes, I gotta admit that I love to keep things to myself all the time. But when it's so unbearable I will just let it out to people. Real good friends, family, siblings, teachers and so on. That's cause I know they might give me the solutions
But people who are in dire suicidal conditions feel that there's no more solution to their problems because these problems are so heavy that they don't see the hope to solve it anymore. Which is pretty sad, because I think most of these people tend to just keep this to themselves. Which is why they ended up carrying on with the suicide :(
So people, next time you're facing lots of problems and you feel there's no way out, I just want to tell you that there is. In life nothing is impossible except for waking the dead and playing with time. And the next time you feel like as if your life is horrible and so on.
Remember that at least you still have a life to be lived for. When there are many others out there in the world, fighting and struggling to live.
And always be grateful, and live life to the fullest! :)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Live the moment
Sometimes it can really be painful and saddening, to think that everyday, every single day, I'll always be reminded of that. Of the fact that one day I have to say my goodbyes. One day I'll leave this chapter of mine and one day I will start a new chapter. A new chapter somehow written for me, and not me who wrote that new chapter. Somehow. It's pretty painful you know.
Waking up every morning, and in some random parts of the day you will think of all these stuff that make you feel really... Acted up inside. I've never wished for the day to come. Never wished for my chapter to end so quickly. I have one more year and well, one more year goes pretty quickly like how my 10 years have gone by. Deep within me I wish to continue. But with all these "things" happening outside of me, I have no choice but to feel really confused about where I'm going, or what lies ahead of me.
I really, sometimes wish that year 3 would never come. Somehow it's the year for me that I wish never exist. Maybe I can just continuously repeat and repeat year 1 and 2. Like as if my poly life will never end. Year 3 signifies the end for us. Where we are going next, can sometime be something challenging and exciting for us. But for me, is something that I don't really wish to look forward.
I've always dreaded the future. I don't know what lies ahead. In some way I know, and sometimes I tell myself that's not what I really want to. To think that we're of two different worlds. To think that what you think of me (to me) feels really offset. And to know that nobody else can understand me like I do. Am I really good at that. Am I who you really think I am?
Somehow everything doesn't match up.
Feels pretty jumbled up all together. Everything. I wish life wouldn't be so complicating. I just wish to live a simple life. Get a simple job. Don't wish to earn so much money. Just enough to keep me alive. Give me a shelter. Give me food. And at least let me do enjoy the things I love doing.
Yeah. A simple life.
But well I always remind myself that I have to live in the present. Anticipate the future, and live the moment. It's not good to simple "forget" the future. Or just not to simply care about it. I think in one way or another the future will come to you. You may like it, you may not. But well. It will come. Just like how time will continuously flow and we have no way to change its course or to stop it.
I have to live the moment. As much as I don't like what's coming right in front of me. I have to enjoy what I'm doing now. What I'm living for today. Why am I working so hard for today. Why am I doing the things I do today. Why am I living today.
I have to live the moment.
Waking up every morning, and in some random parts of the day you will think of all these stuff that make you feel really... Acted up inside. I've never wished for the day to come. Never wished for my chapter to end so quickly. I have one more year and well, one more year goes pretty quickly like how my 10 years have gone by. Deep within me I wish to continue. But with all these "things" happening outside of me, I have no choice but to feel really confused about where I'm going, or what lies ahead of me.
I really, sometimes wish that year 3 would never come. Somehow it's the year for me that I wish never exist. Maybe I can just continuously repeat and repeat year 1 and 2. Like as if my poly life will never end. Year 3 signifies the end for us. Where we are going next, can sometime be something challenging and exciting for us. But for me, is something that I don't really wish to look forward.
I've always dreaded the future. I don't know what lies ahead. In some way I know, and sometimes I tell myself that's not what I really want to. To think that we're of two different worlds. To think that what you think of me (to me) feels really offset. And to know that nobody else can understand me like I do. Am I really good at that. Am I who you really think I am?
Somehow everything doesn't match up.
Feels pretty jumbled up all together. Everything. I wish life wouldn't be so complicating. I just wish to live a simple life. Get a simple job. Don't wish to earn so much money. Just enough to keep me alive. Give me a shelter. Give me food. And at least let me do enjoy the things I love doing.
Yeah. A simple life.
But well I always remind myself that I have to live in the present. Anticipate the future, and live the moment. It's not good to simple "forget" the future. Or just not to simply care about it. I think in one way or another the future will come to you. You may like it, you may not. But well. It will come. Just like how time will continuously flow and we have no way to change its course or to stop it.
I have to live the moment. As much as I don't like what's coming right in front of me. I have to enjoy what I'm doing now. What I'm living for today. Why am I working so hard for today. Why am I doing the things I do today. Why am I living today.
I have to live the moment.
Friday, February 17, 2012
How selfish can we be
It's been such a long time since I wrote here. Sorry for neglecting but this term has been one hell of a ride for me. And it's all ending tomorrow. Year two will end tomorrow. Pretty fast huh. Well yeah this term is really fast. We only have 2 months to a term (than the usual three as we have no exams). It felt like yesterday when poly just started. Well year 2 has been an awesome year for me. With its ups and downs of course.
Part and parcels of life.
I'll be starting my ITP (internship programme) next academic year, which is in April. I've not told you this but well my OITP was cancelled. When I'm supposed to go to Stanford, I'm posted to a local one instead. Of course, I'm disappointed. But at the same time I do believe, too, that things happen for a reason. There must be something that well, makes me got to this route instead and not to overseas.
That happened long time ago, now I'm fine.
And yeah, tomorrow is the last day of year 2. I have 2 papers and I sorta studied for them already. Just need more readings. Nevertheless I still have time tomorrow to study so bring it on! Hehe. I want to end this year beautifully, just like how beautiful it happened.
Well talking about the post. I just have a question in my head. How selfish can you go, will you be and you want to in order to achieve your personal goals and dreams? Will you sacrifice your family for the sake of living your dreams? Let alone, living your life.
It's pretty disheartening to hear it just now. I was happily studying and my mood was just ruined. Have to force myself to study once more.
But sigh, I don't know. I'm lost in life. I just want to live the present happily. The future is not for me to see, but it's for me to dread. If I fear it, I won't move forward.
Yet the thoughts of running away has never left me.
Part and parcels of life.
I'll be starting my ITP (internship programme) next academic year, which is in April. I've not told you this but well my OITP was cancelled. When I'm supposed to go to Stanford, I'm posted to a local one instead. Of course, I'm disappointed. But at the same time I do believe, too, that things happen for a reason. There must be something that well, makes me got to this route instead and not to overseas.
That happened long time ago, now I'm fine.
And yeah, tomorrow is the last day of year 2. I have 2 papers and I sorta studied for them already. Just need more readings. Nevertheless I still have time tomorrow to study so bring it on! Hehe. I want to end this year beautifully, just like how beautiful it happened.
Well talking about the post. I just have a question in my head. How selfish can you go, will you be and you want to in order to achieve your personal goals and dreams? Will you sacrifice your family for the sake of living your dreams? Let alone, living your life.
It's pretty disheartening to hear it just now. I was happily studying and my mood was just ruined. Have to force myself to study once more.
But sigh, I don't know. I'm lost in life. I just want to live the present happily. The future is not for me to see, but it's for me to dread. If I fear it, I won't move forward.
Yet the thoughts of running away has never left me.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
How far we've come
I doubt I have written a post here about my Mt Kinabalu trip back in December. Well yes, it's been a month since I've summited at Low's peak of the mountain. One of the best feelings I have in life. Really good, being above the clouds, and to just see the view that we have. Sadly it was kind of cloudy, unlike the 2nd team who summited the next day where the weather was really really good. But yep. It was really great.
Climbing a mountain wasn't in my agenda at all. Well it is an item in my life's to-do list though, but I have no plans of accomplishing it -that- soon. It was kind of funny, like how everything started. It all began with a small poster and two of my friends were asking me to go. At first I declined, and selections were made etc. But there were some people who left the team cause of personal reasons, so my friend called me if I still wanna go. And I simply said yes.
What made me say yes? Well I guess I've always told myself how short life is, and how I should really live my life to the fullest. And I said yes! Plus the trip to Inner Mongolia back in September tells me how much I should go travelling, in fact AMAP. Cause this world is just such a waste to be left undiscovered. It's such a beauty, if you can travel. Please go do.
And the trainings went, and so on and so forth and we reached Kinabalu and began our trek. The 6 hours up the mountain went quickly, and the summit... Well it felt longer, cause I was having AMS (Acute mountain sickness). Kinda felt horrible. But thank you to the help of my friends, everything just went... Great. It was really tough at first. Felt like the journey to the summit would never end. But when we reach the summit, it was just an awesomely amazing feeling. Like as if all the trainings we did, all the pain all the sweat and everything dissipated into the thin air. Gone, poof.
Almost the same feeling I got when I crossed the finishing line of Standard Chartered Marathon back in December as well. Just... More awesome heh.
I guess in every journey we go, be it somewhere we travel to, somewhere we venture to, somewhere we walk to or so on, always remember to look back and enjoy the view. Look back and tell yourself how far you've come. Ask yourself. Climbing a mountain, reaching a summit, but not looking back is just meaningless. Think back of the journey we've went thus far. I think it's just awesome.
We never know whether we're embarking on a long journey, a great journey, or well simply... A Journey. Lao Tzu said "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Every journey has its beginning. We begin with a single step. It may not necessarily begin with a bang, with an inspiration or some great events. Some people embark on a journey to prove themselves wrong, to try something new, to simply just go for it kind of thing. But whatever the case, we all begin a journey.
And I truly believe no journey truly ends. In one way or another it continues. Be it the memories we remember, the lessons we've learnt, the friendship we've made, the experience gained and so many more, these are the things that would continue the journey we've been through. I guess life is the only journey that would truly end. But it may continue, I hope my journey will be continued by other people. Be it from the difference I've made, or the times I've shared.
Life itself is a journey, made up many little journeys. All compiled together as one. I hope to embark in as many journeys as possible. And through these journeys, I hope I can learn, I hope I can gain something from each and every one of it. One by one, I'll strike them off, I'll add them into my life, I'll carry it till the day I die. And well yeah.
But of course, as I grow older, so will my life's to-do list get longer, and so will I run out of time faster. Live life to the fullest! One day we shall all complete our life well and beautifully. An amazing journey we'll see.
Not a dream we always dream of.
Climbing a mountain wasn't in my agenda at all. Well it is an item in my life's to-do list though, but I have no plans of accomplishing it -that- soon. It was kind of funny, like how everything started. It all began with a small poster and two of my friends were asking me to go. At first I declined, and selections were made etc. But there were some people who left the team cause of personal reasons, so my friend called me if I still wanna go. And I simply said yes.
What made me say yes? Well I guess I've always told myself how short life is, and how I should really live my life to the fullest. And I said yes! Plus the trip to Inner Mongolia back in September tells me how much I should go travelling, in fact AMAP. Cause this world is just such a waste to be left undiscovered. It's such a beauty, if you can travel. Please go do.
And the trainings went, and so on and so forth and we reached Kinabalu and began our trek. The 6 hours up the mountain went quickly, and the summit... Well it felt longer, cause I was having AMS (Acute mountain sickness). Kinda felt horrible. But thank you to the help of my friends, everything just went... Great. It was really tough at first. Felt like the journey to the summit would never end. But when we reach the summit, it was just an awesomely amazing feeling. Like as if all the trainings we did, all the pain all the sweat and everything dissipated into the thin air. Gone, poof.
Almost the same feeling I got when I crossed the finishing line of Standard Chartered Marathon back in December as well. Just... More awesome heh.
I guess in every journey we go, be it somewhere we travel to, somewhere we venture to, somewhere we walk to or so on, always remember to look back and enjoy the view. Look back and tell yourself how far you've come. Ask yourself. Climbing a mountain, reaching a summit, but not looking back is just meaningless. Think back of the journey we've went thus far. I think it's just awesome.
We never know whether we're embarking on a long journey, a great journey, or well simply... A Journey. Lao Tzu said "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Every journey has its beginning. We begin with a single step. It may not necessarily begin with a bang, with an inspiration or some great events. Some people embark on a journey to prove themselves wrong, to try something new, to simply just go for it kind of thing. But whatever the case, we all begin a journey.
And I truly believe no journey truly ends. In one way or another it continues. Be it the memories we remember, the lessons we've learnt, the friendship we've made, the experience gained and so many more, these are the things that would continue the journey we've been through. I guess life is the only journey that would truly end. But it may continue, I hope my journey will be continued by other people. Be it from the difference I've made, or the times I've shared.
Life itself is a journey, made up many little journeys. All compiled together as one. I hope to embark in as many journeys as possible. And through these journeys, I hope I can learn, I hope I can gain something from each and every one of it. One by one, I'll strike them off, I'll add them into my life, I'll carry it till the day I die. And well yeah.
But of course, as I grow older, so will my life's to-do list get longer, and so will I run out of time faster. Live life to the fullest! One day we shall all complete our life well and beautifully. An amazing journey we'll see.
Not a dream we always dream of.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year:)
First of all wishing you a happy new year 2012! May 2011 be a wonderful journey for all of us, a better year than 2011! Even though I honestly feel 2011 has been one epic journey.
Well 2011 has been a wonderful adventure of my life. Did so many things I didn't expect myself to do in my youthful years. Didn't expect myself to do things in LIFE. It was just amazing. Pretty hard to explain how awesome it is in words and stuff. But yup, just one great journey :)
When the sounds of the fireworks blasted through my ears just now, it just felt so awesome. It felt like it's one symbolic moment to bid farewell to one awesome year. Like great things, end greatly.
With a sentimental heart I say farewell to 2011. But at the same time, with an open heart I welcome 2012. A new chapter is waiting to be written. A new adventure waiting to embark. A new journey waiting to begin!
Sigh, 2011 was really good. And I'll make sure 2012 is BETTER! :D
Happy new year again people!
Well 2011 has been a wonderful adventure of my life. Did so many things I didn't expect myself to do in my youthful years. Didn't expect myself to do things in LIFE. It was just amazing. Pretty hard to explain how awesome it is in words and stuff. But yup, just one great journey :)
When the sounds of the fireworks blasted through my ears just now, it just felt so awesome. It felt like it's one symbolic moment to bid farewell to one awesome year. Like great things, end greatly.
With a sentimental heart I say farewell to 2011. But at the same time, with an open heart I welcome 2012. A new chapter is waiting to be written. A new adventure waiting to embark. A new journey waiting to begin!
Sigh, 2011 was really good. And I'll make sure 2012 is BETTER! :D
Happy new year again people!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
To Forget - Chapter 2
The White Room
The white room was Ed's crazy idea. When he was young, he promised himself to make him a room, just a simple room where he would store the music CDs he bought, his books, magazines, diaries, photo albums, memorabilia, medals, achievements and so on. He would just make it a really simple room. Perhaps rectangular in shape, enough to store a few shelves and cupboards.
Ed knew that he's one, very, sentimental person. Somehow, he realised this when he was about 16 years old. He began collecting his memorabilia from his school days, and he knew deep in his heart that he will carry this to the future. He wanted to grow old with them. Many people found the idea crazy. A waste of space, a waste of time. But to Ed, this was something really meaningful for him.
As much as he loved research, Ed was also an artistic person. He loves photography, and he loves music. And also, he loves writing. His favourite subject during his school days would be English, to be exact, composition. He enjoyed writing essays, especially those essays with only one word as the given title. Even though he was then 85, Ed was still blogging in his blog, which he started 69 years ago. Some writers had visited him, interviewing him as one of the world's oldest and continuous blogger.
Writing calms him down. He felt blissful, peaceful and in joy whenever he writes. He could remember those days where he would just put on his headphones and started blogging on his laptop. After about 2 years of blogging, Ed decided to return back to paper and pen. He started to write diaries. His diaries were filled with deeper and more secretive thoughts of him. And yes, he was still writing at the age of 85.
When you step inside the white room, you would be first welcomed by the wall filled with hundreds of photos. Some framed up nicely and simply in black frames, other were just hung on a string with a wooden peg. When you look at the wall, it felt happy and calm somehow. The wall is showing Ed's love for photography and art. He painstakingly took each and every photo with his cameras. Whenever he had a guest to his house, the wall was the proudest thing he would show to them.
And when the guests would leave, Ed would insist of allowing his guest to take at least one photo for them to keep. Ed would then print a different photo to replace the given photos.
The wall would be on your right. When you walk forward, you will see 5 white shelves neatly and strongly lined up. The first one contained Ed's proud collection of music CDs. From classical to pop, instrumental to pop-rock, everything is there. Ed was a music lover. He felt that there's no point in living if there's no music in this world.
The second shelf contained Ed's photo albums, neatly arranged according to the timeline of events. Everyday, Ed would randomly pick one album where he would just look through the photos again. Sometimes, the album will be wet with tears dropping from his eyes. Sometimes, the album would be left open on his lap as he fell asleep on the couch.
The third shelf contained Ed's diaries, journals, travel journals and books. There would be days where Ed would just simply pick one and read all of these books again. He was really proud of himself as he felt that he had written so many books. Even though they were left unpublished. This shelf has a glass drawer. It was locked, and only Ed had the key to this third shelf. He felt some memories are better for him, only, to see, and relive. Sometimes he would take one and let his children read. But he would never let anyone touch the key.
The fourth shelf contained Ed's memorabilia, From postcards to magnet, notebooks to birthday wishes. Everything was there and Ed proudly kept each and every one of these memorabilia in this shelf. He called it the happiest shelf. Because in this shelf, only happy memories remain. No sad memories.
The last shelf was not fully filled. It was just filled with the thing Ed loves to collect, and was still collecting. There were mugs, notebooks, cups and many other exotic things. Some were bought when he travelled overseas. Some were from his past.
Then Ed muttered something
"The last shelf, would be for my children to put whatever they want, which would remind them of me, when I'm gone. That sounds like a plan"
The white room was Ed's crazy idea. When he was young, he promised himself to make him a room, just a simple room where he would store the music CDs he bought, his books, magazines, diaries, photo albums, memorabilia, medals, achievements and so on. He would just make it a really simple room. Perhaps rectangular in shape, enough to store a few shelves and cupboards.
Ed knew that he's one, very, sentimental person. Somehow, he realised this when he was about 16 years old. He began collecting his memorabilia from his school days, and he knew deep in his heart that he will carry this to the future. He wanted to grow old with them. Many people found the idea crazy. A waste of space, a waste of time. But to Ed, this was something really meaningful for him.
As much as he loved research, Ed was also an artistic person. He loves photography, and he loves music. And also, he loves writing. His favourite subject during his school days would be English, to be exact, composition. He enjoyed writing essays, especially those essays with only one word as the given title. Even though he was then 85, Ed was still blogging in his blog, which he started 69 years ago. Some writers had visited him, interviewing him as one of the world's oldest and continuous blogger.
Writing calms him down. He felt blissful, peaceful and in joy whenever he writes. He could remember those days where he would just put on his headphones and started blogging on his laptop. After about 2 years of blogging, Ed decided to return back to paper and pen. He started to write diaries. His diaries were filled with deeper and more secretive thoughts of him. And yes, he was still writing at the age of 85.
When you step inside the white room, you would be first welcomed by the wall filled with hundreds of photos. Some framed up nicely and simply in black frames, other were just hung on a string with a wooden peg. When you look at the wall, it felt happy and calm somehow. The wall is showing Ed's love for photography and art. He painstakingly took each and every photo with his cameras. Whenever he had a guest to his house, the wall was the proudest thing he would show to them.
And when the guests would leave, Ed would insist of allowing his guest to take at least one photo for them to keep. Ed would then print a different photo to replace the given photos.
The wall would be on your right. When you walk forward, you will see 5 white shelves neatly and strongly lined up. The first one contained Ed's proud collection of music CDs. From classical to pop, instrumental to pop-rock, everything is there. Ed was a music lover. He felt that there's no point in living if there's no music in this world.
The second shelf contained Ed's photo albums, neatly arranged according to the timeline of events. Everyday, Ed would randomly pick one album where he would just look through the photos again. Sometimes, the album will be wet with tears dropping from his eyes. Sometimes, the album would be left open on his lap as he fell asleep on the couch.
The third shelf contained Ed's diaries, journals, travel journals and books. There would be days where Ed would just simply pick one and read all of these books again. He was really proud of himself as he felt that he had written so many books. Even though they were left unpublished. This shelf has a glass drawer. It was locked, and only Ed had the key to this third shelf. He felt some memories are better for him, only, to see, and relive. Sometimes he would take one and let his children read. But he would never let anyone touch the key.
The fourth shelf contained Ed's memorabilia, From postcards to magnet, notebooks to birthday wishes. Everything was there and Ed proudly kept each and every one of these memorabilia in this shelf. He called it the happiest shelf. Because in this shelf, only happy memories remain. No sad memories.
The last shelf was not fully filled. It was just filled with the thing Ed loves to collect, and was still collecting. There were mugs, notebooks, cups and many other exotic things. Some were bought when he travelled overseas. Some were from his past.
Then Ed muttered something
"The last shelf, would be for my children to put whatever they want, which would remind them of me, when I'm gone. That sounds like a plan"
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