That's all, folks!

Hello, it's been ages since I wrote here, quite literally. 17 days haha. But anyway here I am writing in the comfort of my room in my hometown. Yup I have went back now. Not really for a holiday, because I will no longer come back to Singapore for school. No longer coming back to school for lessons. No longer having that excitement for what the new semester has in store for me. And it feels weird.

It feels so surreal that my life is Singapore has come to an end, 11 years. And tonight it officially comes to a close because I just received my results. Which I'm pretty happy for. I can't believe I did so well, but well on the other hand too, I am glad that I managed to fulfill the promise I made to myself 6 months ago. And I'm happy that the hard work I've put in for this have paid off :)

Oh yes, and results mean that I have (un)officially graduated.

It's been a week since I'm back now. For the past week I've been feeling rather empty and hollow. It's quite sad how every day I woke up feeling empty. Realising and telling myself that "hey I'm no longer coming back to Singapore to study". That all these days and years have finally come to an end. It really feels so surreal. that this chapter of mine has come to an end.

I've been thinking every night, and throughout random times of the day, of the things I will miss about Singapore. About my life there, the usual things I do throughout the week, which will no longer happen once I'm back here.

Like,

Having Monday blues for school every Sunday night
Going grocery shopping every Sunday, followed by a run
And going to the temple in the morning
Going somewhere random, alone, to chill and lepak
Chatting with my friends in school
Studying at night, talking to myself
Cooking in the kitchen
Having conversations with my lecturers
Going for snack shopping at the supermarket below my block
And also paying my bills there
Having my hair cut at Clementi with the same barber
Chilling at night with TV or surfing internet randomly
Playing the piano
Going to town with friends on the weekend
Or for a drink on Friday nights

And many, many more.

Today I came with a conclusion. That the thing I missed the most is to actually - be alone. To be independent, doing many things alone, whenever and wherever I want. To be able to make my own choices, to go wherever  I want to go and do whatever I want to do. I treasured that so now, when I miss it, I tell myself that I'm glad I had the chance to do those.

And I'm also glad that I went "full-force" with life for the past two years. I did a lot of things I once doubted myself I couldn't accomplish. Climbed a mountain, ran 7 races, do this and that. Regrets will always be there I guess. But hey no point of regretting. I've lived my life till now and I will never be able to go back to do the things I wished I could do now.

Besides, regrets must come late. If they come early, life wouldn't be fun. No more second chances, no more second tries, no more trying again. There's no challenge!

I'm still trying to adapt to the new life here. I have to stop feeling sad and empty too. It's just another phase in life that I'm trying to adjust to, trying to live to. Just like the Buddhist teaching of Anicca, that nothing is permanent, I'm sure this stage will disappear too, and life will just go on, on its own.

Alright till then, I'll see you again.