How to be someone you don't want to be

Tell me how to be someone you don't want to be.
Could you please tell me?

How to be someone you never thought of becoming, to be someone you never imagine of becoming. To be someone who's never in your mind. To be someone, a person that is out of your imagination. To walk away from your dream and to walk into another path you never imagine of walking into.

It's funny how my mind is resisting the thought of me, becoming someone.
Yet at the same time it's dying to let go, to surrender to that thought.

They say freedom come to those who deserve.

So at times I tell myself that maybe this time round, I don't deserve to get this freedom that I want. Maybe bad things will happen if I get this freedom now, but not later. Maybe this is the path that life has given me, and it's better for me to take it and take it with care.

I will hold on to my dreams. Tightly, like a pollen on the body of a bee. Waiting to fall over onto a stigma of a flower to pollinate. And then it will become a fruit, like the fruit of labour.

I just wish I can fulfill the dreams of my distant memories.
Rather than being revisited by the memories, of a distant dream.