Hello! It's been such a long time since I'm here huh. Well been busy with work, experiments, and so on. So I couldn't blog here. Quite sad, to realise I didn't even blog in my personal blog as often either. But these days, I feel the longing to blog. I need some time, to just pour my feeling out. Be it through music or just simply writing. The good thing is though, I've been writing on my diary, which is good I guess.
Today is day 257 of the year. Was just talking to my friend of how far we've went through till today when we first started our attachment. Day 107 was the day we began. So... Yes, 150 days! And well I really can't wait for the end of year, where I would spend a good time reading through this diary of mine, looking back at the days. I will laugh, I will smile, I will frown trying to remember the day. But I will definitely have a good time looking back at these days.
2012 has been... Challenging so far. I guess what I can tell myself is that well, 2012 will make me a better person, definitely. So far though the days have been quite challenging, this year made me think a lot. And till now I've made decisions and also through these challenges I grow into a stronger and better person. I just still find it shocking at times, how 7 months of this year are taken for attachment alone. Leaving 5 months (which felt so much shorter than 5) behind for non-attachment days.
And so, why am I talking like as if it's the end of year already? -_-
Anyway I really can't wait for attachment to end. In a sense, I know I need a good break and I'm already planning for one. A couple of places in mind, still waiting for my friend to decide though hehe. But I know one place in mind already :) And I think I will most probably go there haha. Just wanna go somewhere and do nothing. Sounds like a perfect plan to me haha. Chill by the beach, relax and enjoy the sun with music in my ears. Oooh the sound of it already makes me feeling fuzzy.
To me... Well currently I'm just, or I think we all, are living life day by day. As the day goes by we live each and another day. A day passes and we move on to the next. To me, I know the end is there. Freedom is there waiting for me. I know the dates, how much weeks we're left and so on. But somehow, they seem so far, and the days never seem to end.
Freedom now, is like eating food when you're having cold. You can taste the flavour of the food. But you can't smell its aroma. Like that I guess. It's like so near, yet so far kind of sentiment. But well, I live in the Buddhist teaching of contemplation of impermanence. I know that everything, good or bad, will come to an end. That's definitely something that will happen so yeah. Slowly but surely, quickly but surely the end will come. I just have to live everyday to the fullest.
Alrighty. I guess that's all for now. I'll see you again soon :)
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