I was just somehow tidying up my space a little just now. My class from last semester bought me this cute folding pouch for my birthday this year. It's a pouch that can hold many different things. There's a sticker for different compartments like tickets, films, receipts, money etc. I really need this kind of pouch. And somehow one of my friend said when my class gave it to me:
"You will really need this"
I'm not too sure what she meant by that. She either mean it cause I'm my present class treasurer, hence I need this kinda pouch. Or is it because she knows I'm such a sentimental person that keeps movie tickets, concert tickets, boarding passes etc?
And yes I do keep all of the mentioned things above. In fact I keep more objects that the one listed above. I keep my birthday cards, I keep my well wishes from my friends. I keep certain objects which hold a valuable amount of memory to me. Like my prom invitation given by my school. The scores for my first every concert. My O Level papers (yes can you believe that). I keep all of them.
Why? Because one, yes I'm a sentimental person and two, because I am someone who really treasure memories.
And with the fact that I'm someone who is really paranoid about things. I have a fear, or even a great fear of one thing. To forget.
I've backed up all my photos, songs, documents from my laptop which to me are really precious. Especially photos, cause those are the only way that I can go back to my past travels. And songs too, cause I have this crazy idea to listen to the songs I really love when I grow up. And the most "radical" ever, I have some songs I want to play in my funeral (oh gosh).
Oh not to forget my wedding.
In fact, honestly speaking, I'd rather be forgotten, than to forget. Somehow memories mean a lot to me. I'm not sure if I'm insane or I'm diagnosed with some disease or phobia. Okay I just googled and I got this I think athazagoraphobia (wow what a long name). They refer to fear of being forgotten or fear of forgetting. I guess I'm the latter one.
Memories to me are pieces of art that really made who I am today. I know people (like me) always say how we are not supposed to cling to our past. I mean yes I don't cling to my past. I came up with this a few while ago. "For the past, bury the bitter, treasure the sweet. For the future anticipate everything, plan ahead. For the present, live like you're dying"
So yeah not that I cling to my past like as if I look at my past everyday, and can't live without it if I don't look at it everyday kind of thing. I just treasure them. And like a treasure, I don't want them to be gone. I want them to stay with me, like a pirate that is really proud of his treasure. He wants to keep it with him forever.
I guess as I said once, I'm unlike many other guys out there. Not sure about my friends, but so far I've only found a handful of people who are really sentimental as me. And most of them are girls. Well I guess there are some guys but I just haven't met them yet. Maybe cancers are like that. I heard we're a bunch of quite sentimental people.
You know sometimes I would have a slight argument with my sister especially when it comes to keeping my music CDs. I have one BUNCH of music CDs. And yes I know I put them in my computer, put them in my iPod and leave it there. But the reason why I don't wanna throw/donate/give them away is that I want to keep all of them and carry it with me to the future. I want to make this super huge library of music. That would be really nice, yes :)
To me, our memories are like a ceramic bowl. When you drop it, it will break into pieces. Maybe not-so-small pieces. You can patch them back up with a glue and stuff. But for sure... Firstly, it will be difficult to patch them back up. Secondly, it will be incomplete as some of the small tiny pieces will fly elsewhere, and it's just difficult to put these tiny ones back together.
So in conclusion, when you forget a part of your memories, it's hard to bring them back together and patch them back up again, as a whole. Really difficult. And I don't want this to happen to me. I really don't.
As fragile as our memories can be, so do our future. As time goes by, we tend to be busier. We tend to be filled with so much activities, that we tend to forget our memories. We tend to forget how fast time could fly, and then we landed in our big old ages and then when it comes to remembering stuff, we have difficulty. And our memories, you know what will happen to it.
I guess somehow I think I'm really thinking too much. But it's better to bring umbrella before it rained. And let the rain wash all our memories away.
Away.
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