Hello all, it's been quite a long time since I wrote here. Been pretty busy with project and work and... Well it's already hard to update my daily blog. Imagine keep on updating this blog. I'll just write here whenever I can and wherever I can. Currently I'm back in my hometown for a short weekend. I'll just be back till Monday. And then yeah, reality will sink in.
Though I wish for this trip back home to be something nice and rejuvenating, where it is a chance for me to relax and rest after 7.5 months of attachment, and also after one hectic week (last week), well perhaps maybe not. The first night I was here, reality strikes me again. Last night I wish I could sleep in peace but somehow before I sleep, thoughts were running wild in my head and I don't know why. Though thankfully, in the end, I managed to fall asleep without notice.
I know I have made the decision back when the year has just started. And I know deep that I will not make any more other decisions. Though when I arrived last night, there might be a huge change that will happen when I grow up. Now I'm afraid of my decision. Though I have made the decision, and my heart seems to be appeased with it. My mind, my future and my thoughts are all in one piece, in one peace.
But whenyou ask me if I'm still afraid of the future,
I'm afraid the answer is still a yes.
Quite funny how I made this decision when the year started. And along the way there are things I wish I can do when I grow up as well. All these plans that I've been telling to my friends, now seems to hand on the edge of a cliff. Not knowing to fall, or to stand in fear, or to get out of the place and stand strong. I must make the best out of this.
Life can be filled with disappointments, and uncertainties. But like every rose has its thorns and every dark cloud have its silver lining, nothing is perfect. Nothing is perfectly beautiful, nor nothing is perfectly ugly. These uncertainties that seem to bother me, they seem to function for another thing. They are just more reasons for me to live my life to the fullest. More.
I'm left with about 5 months before I say goodbye to school. And soon I'll be in my graduation gown. And soon will be at the airport bidding my farewell, to eleven years of life on the island. When the day arrives, I'll look ahead and perhaps fear may be rushing within me. But I definitely know that though the journey may seem long, and seem tough, I'll take it in.
I've made that decision and I will stick with it no matter that the outcome or the changes that might occur along the way. After all it's life. Where change is the only constant.
Now if I can make a wish, I just wish for a great remaining days here back at home. Just let me forget life for a little while. Though only for a few days. But at least yeah, take me away from reality if I may.
