Another side

It's been twenty six and a half weeks since my attachment has started. It's a long time, I know. Whenever I told everyone how long I've went through, their mouths would open feeling shocked why does it take a long time to end. And some would ask me, how come my attachment never ends. I would give them a shrug, and tell them don't ask that question to me, I'm sure most of us would want it to end quicker either. Seven months, definitely, too long.

Attachment of course, has taught me many lessons. Not just in the application side. Surprisingly, the life side of it. Quite sad, how we've all (or some of us) come to a point when being stressed is like... Something daily. Feels like we're at the breaking point of this whole thing. Towards the end I suppose, when we feel really horrible about everything. We feel like giving up, we feel to just let go of everything. After all, we're all new to this field. Alone.

Well being in the "working life" for these past 26 weeks have taught me many lessons about life, about work itself. Definitely, as we all know it, the working life is something totally different as compared to school life. Well like all things in life, we learn from the bad experience and move on, we treasure the sweet moments which we hope to bring in smiles in the future. May it be a bitter smile, sweet smile, silly smile. Just a memory that will linger.

The working life has shown me different sides.

Different sides of human you've never seen before. Something maybe you've seen in your school life. Some just don't. I guess after all of these, I've learnt how much, at the end of the day, people won't really care about you, how you feel, who you are, what's going on with you and so on. At the end of the day we're left alone in this world to fight and stay alive. Sure people can help you, but at the end, you'll stand alone in this battlefield.

Different sides of life, you'll never experience in school. The working life is tougher. If you think school is tough, think again.You'll get to experience what is, life. The stress and the pressure you're going to have is totally different, and of course tougher than the pressure you get in school. You learn how to be responsible for others, and just not yourself. And at times learning about this, can be a tough process. Not something you can take overnight. But at the end of the day, you'll learn it.

It's quite funny how when we're in school, we tell ourselves we can't wait to graduate and to start working. We complain how sucky school can be. That being a working adult is so much nicer than being a student. Surely, some side of it yes. And at the same time, some side of it are just not nice at all. So please, treasure your school life. You will definitely miss it when you grow up and you get out of the school life to the working life. I have a few months of school left. I will, and I must treasure it.

I guess happiness is just something difficult to be created. It's not a simple recipe to make. Let alone, the ingredients are hard to find. But we all should know how happiness comes within ourselves and not something else outside of it.

The day you discover that happiness comes from within, is the day you'll shed tears of sadness, as a smile lit up from your face. Yet you don't know whether you cry tears of joy, or smile to put up a brave front. The day you discover that happiness comes from within, will be a day of discovery that life will quite be a journey for you. That life, is a journey worth suffering from.

Contemplating about life?

Somehow everyday, and... Somehow starting from this year. I begin to love contemplating about life. I would stare at an empty space while my minds run with deep thoughts, thinking of life. Basically everything and anything. Random things turned into deep thoughts, things I see turn into lessons and things I always ponder about. Hence yes. I am thinking about life.

And my friend would always ask me, Contemplating about life?

Well I always do yes. Quite funny how we always think about things, daydreaming and so on. But then at the end of these moments we turn these seemingly random thoughts into something deep which is really lovely in a sense. I guess it's important to think, and think of good thoughts.

Today I was just staring at the blank space. And somehow I remind myself. That everything happens for a reason. Why I was sitting down at the foodcourt, why I was walking to the foodcourt, why we decided to come to this foodcourt, why did I eat that food and so on.  Well as I always said, if they don't happen for a reason, they they wouldn't have happened at all. Similarly, whatever has happened in my life so far, they do happen for a reason too.

I believe when things don't go with your flow, they're just blessings in disguise. There must be a reason why things happen that way, and not this way. When something doesn't go according to your plan, take it that something greater will happen. And well yeah. Sometimes, or in fact everytime, it's good to look on the brighter side of things, always. I'm nearly there, I know all of this will come to an end soon. In no time! Whatever it is.

Sometimes I feel sad... Not sure if I have become someone who's less happy or depressed. Every Tuesday I would go home, watch TV and catch the show "Just For Laughs" just to let me have a good laugh though it's only for a good hour. Feels like I need to do something to make myself a good laugh haha. Laughter is the best medicine I suppose.

Oh well, whatever it is, I won't stop contemplating about life. As the saying goes, we need to lose ourselves to find ourselves. So though I might be lost in my own deep thoughts, I know at the end of the sea, I will be able to find another side of me which I never find before. Losing, to find my way back kind of thing. Isn't it cool?

Alright. May the remaining weeks be smooth sailing.