It's been such a long time since I wrote here. Almost a month and a half ago. Well I've been traveling and been busy, now that my ITP has started. Yes I just returned from the US back in April. Umm I went there from the 19th of March to the 6th of April. It's a long trip and I enjoyed it a lot. As usual, traveling to somewhere new opens up my eyes, my heart and my mind about this world. Which is something I like doing.
And always try to do.
I'm currently having my ITP now. Well yes I am supposed to go to Stanford actually for me internship but there are problems so I am not going in the end. Nevermind, I'm posted in school now. And I believe that things happen for a reason. I've accepted that.
Last week was my 2nd week of my attachment. The first week was horrible. Not in the sense of work and workload etc. But I find the transition of being a student and an internee something very difficult and challenging. But as time goes by and things got busier, I am now handling everything well. Handling - yes I'm still in the process. I hope I can make a smooth transition as quickly as possible. You can say, I'm not ready for work yet.
But come to think of it, it's a great experience, and it will be a great one to have an exposure to this at this time, when we're still studying and before we really step into the real working world. Not everyone have this chance of actually given the opportunity to do what we might do in the future for a given period of time. A try, is still a try. So I'm quite blessed to be given this experience. For 7 months.
In the first week I was feeling really homesick. After all I only returned from my hometown on Sunday and on Monday I went to internship straight ahead. And the difficult transition and so on, it was really tough to manage. And my aunt was here as well for a holiday and meeting up with her (after quite a long time) was really good. And one day before she went back I wish I could take that plane with her. But nope I couldn't.
Well thankfully now I received a piece of good news on Thursday and am looking forward to the start of my project with one of my lecturers. So I know I have something to do and that... I'll get pretty busy.
But what I know is, well. I don't think I want to be a researcher when I grow up.
I really don't mind working in the lab to carry out experiments to help out in a research. But to sit down on a desk to do research. Not my cup of tea apparently. I'm not talking about research only. Basically desk and office jobs. I want to well do something that involves me traveling or walking around or just doing something hands on. But less of sitting down etc.
This is life though. And a much as you own this life of yours, at the end of the day, life will never go on your way, your direction EVERY time. I feel that there's a first time to everything, but not everything has a second time. You can put this saying in two contexts. One in always trying new stuff like weird food, challenges, adventures and so on. Two, in doing something you may not like or you don't like. Well, like a job.
Say you're asked to try fried spider. You can choose to eat it, and not to eat it. If you eat it and you love it, eat it again. If you don't love it then don't have to try it again. But if you don't eat it at all, that may be the last chance for you to try a fried spider. Similar to life. You're given something you don't like. You have two choices of trying it and then see what happens, or don't try it at all.
As the saying goes, experience is your best teacher.
So now I've just been exposed to this job scope. I tell myself I don't like it. But my supervisors are nice and they tell me to try it. Cause you might not have the chance to do it at all in the future, especially at my age. That's when my mindset changes. Doing something you don't like, may not be something that will turn out horrible. Sometimes we're the victims of our imaginations.
Well of course I'm talking in the context of a job or an activity. Not like doing crimes and so on. That's a totally different story. I'm talking about things that only involve you and your choice. Crimes will involve others (if you think of it) so no. I'm not including that in here.
Well life is a road with many intersections. You can walk a road for 3 years. And then at the end you don't like it, and you choose another one. And you walk on a new road. But in life you can't just simply walk back to the opposite direction to go back exactly where you were at. You'll have to walk on another road, to find the road you once walked, and start the road on another point and not the same point as you started - and even the point where you left that road.
Life's filled with unexpected things. Surprises, changes and challenges. It's a long road. But as I said, it's not just a straight road. Sometimes you feel you'll do whatever you're doing now till you grow up. But that's never the case. Listen to your heart, and see what life offers you. Don't let education dictate who you are, let it support who you want to be and prepares you for the future. Studying engineering doesn't mean you can't be a chef when you grow up.
I guess I'm going to experience this when I grow up. It's normal for people of my age, students especially, to feel lost. We will start questioning ourselves, what will I do when I graduate? I don't know what I'll be doing. I don't think I want to continue doing what I'm doing. And the most common question:
Have I made the wrong choice?
To me, I will never regret a decision that I've made. I feel I only have the right to regret it if my decision is in one way or another affected or changed by other circumstances that is out of my control. For example I told myself that I regret choosing to go for an overseas attachment. Of course, cause at the end of the day I didn't go due to unforeseen circumstances. Which my lecturer and I have no control with.
But things like. Entering my course. No, I will not regret that decision even if I won't be doing this in the future. Because this is what I want to do. What I wanted to be. But we can't blame life for giving another, better route for us as we're growing up can we?
I'm not saying it's positively, rightfully alright to just go to a course and say "Haha it's alright for me to do another thing in the future". It's like similar to wasting your time and money. I'm saying is, if you ended up not doing what you are doing now in the future, don't blame yourself for that. Destiny and fate is there, giving the path to your life that we cannot choose.
Plus I believe things happen for a reason. Remember?
Even when we grow up, things may change and we might be doing what we are not doing now. I know some people, who took law and turn into an entrepreneur. A scientist who turn into a monk. Someone who studied in science and turned into an actress. And so on. Just live by one rule - be whoever you want to be. And do things you enjoy, you love.
We only have one life. After all.
Well, I've made my "decision". So... Well, we shall see.
Most importantly, live life to the fullest. And LIVE THE MOMENT!
