Sunshine - Chapter 3

Ask yourself this question. What if you live a life you don't want to live. What is the point of living if you don't even live a life that's yours? A life that you want it to be. What is the point to continue living if you know the future is not yours.

I'm in such situation. Yes I am. Surprised? Well yeah. Sometimes I just wonder how lucky poor children are. They dream. They want to achieve something. And they work towards it. How about me? I dream, yes I do. But if I know what my future is what's the point of dreaming. And by the way, the future that I know isn't something that I want.

I want to change my future. I want to live a life that I want to live in. I want my future, a future so beautiful that only I can make it happen. Yes. Only Me. I'm the only one that could make it happen. Not anyone else. Just me.

But will I? Can I? I lived my teen life thinking of these things that many ordinary teens wouldn't think of. Or perhaps some do, in a more positive way. How about me? I am confused. I am trapped on a winding road. So complicated you'll never get out of here. You will, but it's going to take you a very very long time.

I am just utterly confused, and terrified. My future is so uncertain. And I don't know what's going to happen. Somehow it's ironic when you hope for the better, but you fear for the worst.

I just hope things will change for the better.

Will it, though?