Sunshine - Chapter 2

It's my story. I don't know though but well, I guess that's life. Life to me is a story. The different thing is that in life, there are different spots for climax to happen, whereas in story books, there are only usually one to three climaxes. So far I've only read a book with one climax, somehow.

To me life is an irony. What's right is wrong, and vice versa. Well not everything goes like this, sometimes what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong. I mean, when you eat 1 litre of potassium chloride, you'll die from poisoning right? So that's right. Alright I'm just digressing.

To my my future is what worries me. I put it in this way. "It is the uncertainty of the future that worries me the most. But I still have a choice, don't I?". Yeah it's all about choice. What you want to be, where you want to be, why you want to be and how. How. That's is the most important question, especially in my case, where the reality somehow blocks me from answering that question.

Sometimes I ask myself. Why can't I live like ordinary teens? Then one of my friend answered me. "You can't expect yourself to simply be someone ordinary like others, you know". Quite true. First of all, I don't think no one can define "ordinary teens". So ordinary teens... Are they teens who just study and go on with their life, or teens who hve plans ready for the future or teens who simply don't know what to do.

Now it's my turn to ask you. If you have two choices, one is that you have to live a future that is already set but you hate it. Another is that, a future which you want to live but you feel uncertain about. Me? I'll choose the second one.

The question is, can I?

Sunshine - Chapter 1

You know the feeling right. I know you do. It's like when you feel like you're a bird with your wings snapped. Or maybe a horse with only two legs. No, make it one, you can still run with two. Or maybe a fish without its fins, lying dead on the ocean's floor.

I know you know this feeling. Yes, it's like you're being trapped. Nowhere to go, Wham. Like the judge just says you're guilty and that you're going to receive a death sentence.

Or have you ever feel this feeling where you've got no choice, nowhere to run. Like a prisoner stuck in his cell forever. Or maybe a dog chained forever, he just couldn't run! Even for a few meters. Or maybe when you got stuck in a labyrinth. I don't know. I think I'm, too, stuck in the labyrinth of reality. I just can't get out of it, can I?

This is a story of mine. How I wish I could call it "unreal". Like I just simply say "Oh yeah this is just an illusion, nothing else matters". No, this is not an illusion. It's reality. I wouldn't call myself an escapist either. I wish I could escape from this reality. Yeah I wish. But wouldn't that call me a coward? Yes to some people, no for me.

Oh dude come on, you don't know what I'm facing. It's even tougher than any Mathematical sum I've ever attempted. I mean it's just so goddamn tough! I know if you were me, you'll just run like a coward.

No, escaping reality is not a cowardly act. Sometimes it can even be a courageous one. Like if you can, I shall salute you. Wait I'm talking with a condition. You run away for good, for something you deserve for. If you escape from reality, and simply escape because you want to. Then you're nothing but a pathetic coward.

So the question is, am I a coward?